Parting with a loved one is always painful, bitter and insulting. It is especially difficult when, in a couple, one fell out of love and closed this relationship, like a book read, while the other still values them. New connections are assessed, in most cases, as a “life-giving balm”, helping to distract from worries. But there are several points that should not be forgotten, “rushing into the maelstrom” of an emerging relationship.
What do we feel when we break off relations with our, until recently, half? This is incredible panic, rejection and misunderstanding of how this could happen. The whole world collapsed overnight and shattered into small fragments. You understand that you need to continue your life path, you need to re-learn to trust, love and rejoice, without looking back at the past, but you do not know where to find the strength for this.
A fateful meeting and another, true love is still waiting for you ahead. However, when entering a bright future, there is no need to take with you old sorrows and sufferings.
Each love story is unique, and people break up in different ways too. When partners make a mutual decision to end the relationship, realizing that they are no longer on the way, then everyone easily begins the next stage of their lives. In this case, they are both free and open to other, more vivid emotions. Nothing pulls them back, and they go to meet their only destined companion.
One of the reasons people love the idea of reactivating a relationship with an ex is because dating someone they know doesn’t have to start from scratch.
You know the bad habits and good sides of your ex. If a lot of time has passed, then you are not so sure that everything will end the same. It is, in principle, as if a new relationship is starting.
How do you know that you are ready for a new relationship?
Of course, there are no exact dates in the timeline. After all, every person is different. For someone a month is enough, someone needs a year or two. Therefore, you need to rely on your feelings.
So, how do you understand what is already possible:
1. Remembering your ex, you do not have a feeling of longing. It is important to feel this moment. If thinking about your past relationships, you feel good, it does not drive you into melancholy, then you are already on the right track.
2. You don’t want to take back your past relationship. Yes, it may be pretty obvious, but many people ignore it anyway and build new relationships, dreaming of old ones. But you cannot impose one relationship on another. It will just be difficult for you to immerse yourself in something new completely. After all, a part of you is still somewhere in the past.
3. You are not trying to replace the ex with a new person. This is one of the main mistakes, we immediately try to replace the person thinking that it will work. But nobody and nothing can be replaced. After a while, you can, but that’s a completely different story. Brand new relationship. But trying to replace someone in the same second is stupid. So, if this feeling has passed you, then life is getting better.
4. Relationships are no longer so important to you. After parting, for some reason there comes a period when it seems that the relationship is very important, that without them nowhere. But somehow people live without them? When you finally calm down, you just want to live. It doesn’t matter if you have a relationship or not.
5. You don’t remember your ex. Of course, this is an optional item. Nobody forbids you to remember them. But if you begin to notice that you remember the old days much less often, then again you are on the right path.
6. You want to live. Of course, not for all people, breaking up is a big problem. But believe me, for many, this is really a very big problem. People have been depressed for years, unable to do anything at all. Suffer and suffer for missed opportunities. Every day they figure out why everything went wrong and dream of returning the relationship. Although all the problems are already superimposed there, not just relationships.
So, if you feel free, if you feel a surge of energy, then you are ready to start a new relationship.
5 tips to help you create a “new” relationship with your ex
Here are five things you can do before you rekindle your relationship with your ex to make sure your new ones last:
1. Do not jump into the pool with your head
While you may have a past with your ex, you don’t know who he is today. Take your time first, get to know him again. Discover the new person he has become and let him learn new things about you.
2. Learn to communicate
Take the time to talk about your new relationship and what your expectations are. Just because he’s a different person doesn’t mean you won’t have the same old relationship. Make sure you understand that each of you needs this relationship.
3. Think back to your past
Why did you break up at all? Make sure these items have been closed. This is especially true if there has been fraud or dishonesty. You don’t want to start a new relationship with resentment, do you?
4. Don’t make me do it
If your ex wants to start just dating, don’t insist on a relationship. If you try to get your ex into a relationship before he is ready, you are likely to have a new relationship leading to a breakup from the very beginning.
5. Know that there are no guarantees
You may have had a wonderful relationship in the past, but that doesn’t mean you will have a wonderful relationship now. You can work to create new relationships, but remember that in the end it may not work.
When you have a chance for a new relationship with your ex after being apart for a long time, you can start over how you want. If you want it together, you have a good chance of doing what many other broken couples don’t and getting things to work right the second time around.